Okay, so I'm not the most determined blogger of all time - I set out with a goal of an update every day, then every week, and now I'm down to trying to get one every year... Well, I apologize - and I'll try and make it up to you with a massive update, the likes of which you have never, ever, seen before!*

*Not a guarantee.

Well, let's start where I left off - America was amazing. It seems a long, long time ago now, but the memories remain intact. You can see all the photos I promised three months ago a while back in my Facebook albums (1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6). Belated thanks again to Rob and Lynne for putting me up, I had a blast.

I took yet another holiday during the summer! With my mum, sailing from Holland to London in a tall ship. Despite being the weirdest premise for a relaxing week I'd ever heard, it was a great trip. We were divided into three 'watches', taking alternate 4-hour shifts, from lunch, to the middle of the night. Sitting on the top of the Pelican of London at 3 o' clock in the morning, watching the stars, in the middle of the North Sea has to be one of the most tranquil moments of my life. Until I got hit by a wave. Again.

So, what else happened this summer? Well, finally, I got myself a job. A real one. With hours, and a clocking-in machine, and work... Crazy. Officially, I'm a Level-One Health & Safety Trained Food Handler. To my friends, I work at McDonalds. And you know what? It's brilliant. I've met people there I'd never have found anywhere else, and some who I'm sure will stick with me for a very long time. The cheesy hype is actually fairly accurate - it's like joining a new family, everyone knows your name, and they're always glad you came. Especially if you're working on the grill side. There are never enough people on grill side. Sure, the work is shit, but the money's good, and it passes the time. What more can I ask?

And then, as quickly as it began, the summer ended, and I started at college. Okay, so I missed the bus twice in two days, but other than that, it's been perfect. I've met so many new people, from the lads on the bus (we went to see the Saints win 2-0 on Tuesday), to the girls on The Brock Magazine team (of which I'm the editor). The lessons are great, I love the feeling of looking at my timetable in the morning and thinking "yeah, there's nothing there I'm not looking forward to". Except politics - because of Will. Don't ask. *Nod to Micala*

I've decided to be really boring here, and not post any pictures, or YouTube videos, as there's quite simply been far too much to cover - but fear not - they shall return with my next blog. All that's to know for now is that life is good, I'm feeling great, and I'm setting myself up for another huge fall already. You'll find out about that soon enough.

Okay, I lied:



Hehe.

The Brock Magazine will be up on Thursday - so that's probably around about when I'll make my next post. I'll see you all then - thanks for reading. China called, it appears they want their wall back!

So... Hands up who's in New York... Oh, just me then? I'm writing from the house I'm at in the States (slowly, admittedly, as I'm both using a PDA, and watching Judge Alex on TV), and I'll try and add some pictures to this entry later today. Hooray for me!

I'll be honest, I couldn't really care less about my blog. For a long time, over my BlogSpot, RD.co.uk, the forum etc., it's just been a means for me to post in-jokes to my friends, and to complain about Stef (who, by the way, did finally apologize the other day - after reading this, I think). Now, however, it's serious. That's right... My family now read this.

Greets, by the way, to my Dad, Grandparents, and all others because of whom I can no longer lie, exaggerate or act cool on my blog. Thanks, guys.

Anyway, on Saturday, flew to the US, sitting next to a fat nice lady called Debbie. She told me she worked as a publisher of the '...for Dummies' series, I said I liked computers. Fun. I put my iPod in for the rest of the way.

Sunday, I went into New York City with Rob and Lynne on the train, and took a walk through Central Park (CP... hehe) to get to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, a deceptive title, as it seemed to be full of design and historical stuff. And, of course, win. This will probably make more sense when I upload some photos later.

The next day, I decided I needed some clothes for the week, so went to the Woodbury Commons, a MASSIVE shopping... Village! Think Gunwharf on steroids, add a food court, and you're there. 'Managed' to spend $550 on a shedload of clothes, including all the stuff Chelsie asked me to get...

*Insert 'wa-pish' sound effect here*

Finally, today we were to late to catch the train to the city, so took a drive round New York State... Not too much I can write about here, but it was incredibly picturesque! Again, photos soon, including a huge deer I saw in the garden this morning.

Going back to the city tomorrow. 'Til then, who's awesome? You're awesome!

Okay, well, I haven't updated this for a while... Whilst I'd like to bore you with in-depth explainations as to why, the basics are exams, my host going down, and a general lack of being arsed. However, do I have news for you! I've finished my exams, got a haircut, kicked my host up the backside, and I'm coing back, stronger than ever!

Well, item one, exams went really, really well. I think I've already pretty much forgotten them, but from what I remember, only a couple worried me (Chemistry and Physics I kind of... Forgot to revise for, and History I ran out of time in), but I should be on for a decent haul of results. I need all A/A* grades to get me into my course at college, with all A*s for a free new MacBook Pro from my dad, so here's hoping!

There's another thing, college. I went in for the induction day on the 30th June, and it was awesome, seriously, I met a load of incredible people there - including James McKnight, who (how, I don't know) has convinced me to join his paintball team. Found all of my classes were a healthy proportion of girls to boys, including English Literature, which was a roomful of about 17 girls... And three boys.

Unfortunately, then, item three... I have a girlfriend. Running through the quick check-list of the normal qualities in a Patrick Quinn® girlfriend (psycho, blind, stupid, mental, actually a man, born to lesbian parents, has mis-spelled name), we can see that Miss Chelsie Pittman possesses just the one. Can you guess which?

Picturez0rs (she's on the left):



So I've been spending an... unhealthy amount of time with her recently, however, I'm off to America in under a week's time, so I guess it's justified. Also, she has funny hair (pot, kettle), and if she isn't reminded of it at least three times a week, her feet fall off, so I feel it my duty to keep up the insults.

Stef has fallen out with me. If you can see why, please let me know, because, frankly, I can't. Basically, a couple of weeks ago, I held a little party round my house, nothing serious, so my best friend (that'll be Stef) could meet all my new friends, including the Chelsie Dagger. So, she says she'll turn up and crash, and all's well.

So, the day came, and she didn't show, so I assumed she'd been caught in traffic, so sent a quick text - nothing. The others were getting hungry, but I convinced them to wait for an hour, before finally I caved, embarrased that she hadn't showed. Then, a week of calling, MSNing and texting later, I finally get a reply, and it says:

"shit happens tbh"

No apology, no explanation, no nothing. So, I reply with pretty much everything above, followed by a nice, hearty 'fuck you'. And now she's all pissy. Fucking women. Not to mention she ditched my best friend at the prom to go talk with her fuckwit of a ex-boyfriend all night - but I refuse to be drawn further into her fucked-up love-life. It's just plain old pathetic.

Anyway, beyond that - America on Saturday! I have a big travel journal to fill with photos, letters and things for Chelsie, so I'll never be stuck for something to do. Hooray!

So...

Enough about school for a while... A few blog blag posts on xkcd and Last.fm have got me thinking about how awesome ballpits are... Don't you remember going to Charlie Chalk's, or the local PlayZone, and just diving in? Well... I do, and (highly unoriginally, I now realise) I want to have one too!



I've suggested it to my mum, who works at Fat Face, to add to their ever-increasing head office of weird and wonderful rooms, as well as a random caravan. Oh, and whilst we're on the topic, I want!

I think I'm going to make this a habit - strangely, though I spend most of the weekend at home, I never seem to have the time to do anything of worth, so future weekend blogs (and possibly Monday, too) will be posted in one big go, rather than separate entries.

So, the weekend went well, I didn't do anything of any particular worth. The old folks went out on Saturday to pick up their new motorbikes from the Honda garage. I don't want to admit it... But they're pretty cool. At some point, I'll take some pictures and post them - but until then, just accept that they're pretty awesome.

Sunday, I spent the entire day revising for my maths calculator paper the next day, that and history for Tuesday, so nothing else particularly to say for that, other than the BBC Bitesize website may be overly-simplified, but they have some excellent mock papers. Seriously.

Monday's paper went well, spent the first six hours of the day revising in the library. We got kicked out to the computer suite half-way through because the Year 6 kiddies had to do their SATs. I remember those, I don't think I worried about them until they were done, yet nowadays these kids are revising for them, harder than I am for my GCSEs.

Anyway, a teacher I don't like was in there, and said to the lady that kicked us out, "Well they'll be working in complete silence, I can tell you that" with so much spite in her voice, I'm surprised she didn't let out an evil laugh afterwards. I don't get that, how is it so hard to be a little bit nice, sometimes? Nobody, with the possible exceptions of Stalin and Hitler, gets respect for being unjustly mean - it's not rocket science.

The calculator paper was really straightforward, I managed to get everything, I think, except one of the final questions, where I was asked to prove some equation equaled zero. I managed to get an answer that was something divided by zero. Twice. So I gave up, and moved on. Fucking laws of maths.

Finally, today was the worst ever exam day, yet went shockingly well. Spoke to Stef, who's still very upset (I'm not allowed to reveal any more - or Joe will call me gay again), then got the English paper done. Had to write about two articles, some long-winded thing about living ethically and the front cover of The Independent, then write to persuade an assembly to 'Campaign Against Waste', which quickly descended into Stalin-esque "we must march forward to a greener life together" rambling.

Then, History, and the best exam paper ever, Treaty of Versailles questions and everything - things I knew! I'd been so worried something random would come up, but I'm relieved it's over, two hours would have been a long time to stare at a blank answer booklet. Ended up writing 10 pages, 16 pages total for the day, and using up an entire ball-point pen.

Finally, I've been watching 'Last Comic Standing' on Paramount Comedy 1, it's hilarious, people audition by telling one joke to two big names in comedy - including the guy who played Carlton Banks in the Fresh Price of Bel Air. Also, Fearne Cotton is in it, which is pretty awesome.

So, today's picture content is related:



As is today's YouTube video:



Coming up at some point, I'll do some commentary on the US Election (John McCain ftw), and more Andy link pimpage. Also, I'll get on the internet to bring you some more sites you've never heard of. Until then, I have lots of exams, so maybe less bloggage - sorry!

Amendment: Also, the Ting Tings' new album is awesome, get it!